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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I am alive..just overwhelmed

The comments I recieved on my last post are overwhelming..I LOVE YOU LADIES!

Getting to attend the bandster brunch  in NYC on 3/20 was amazing and lifted my spirits.

I haven't been on blogs much as I haven't gotten my wireless internet hooked up at my parents. 

I have been trying to deal with my shit show of a life. It's hard. This past week has been extremely hard. I cry most days. My band is so tight from stress and having my period last week I could barely eat.  Yesterday I saw the lowest # on my scale in my life (136lbs), and I didn't even care because I am just so sad and stressed.

Tomorrow will be my first holiday seperated ( my 30th GULP) Birthday. And it's sad knowing I have to make plans, not just automatically have plans with my husband.

Thank You for all the support, I will be getting back into blogging soon..I promise.


  1. Oh sweetie! I so feel for you. But each day will get easier than the last. I believe that for you. You are so beautiful and there is happiness out there for you.

    Congrats on your lowest low!

  2. Here for you...may live a little farther than we would like, but if there is anything I can do to help - just ask!


  3. I love your profile pics with the before & after. You are beautiful at ANY size, but OMG! Smokin' Hottie in the house!

    Happy 30th birthday! Turning 30 is no big deal, at least that's what I think now that I'm closer to 40. Go have some drinks and a bit of fun!

  4. I so wish I was closer to you. I would give you all kinds of hugs! Your birthday is a big deak kiddo. Please do you best to celebrate it. I am praying that you are comforted during this time.

    Let me know if you need anything.

  5. Divorce is so hard! Ending my marriage was harder than losing my parents, give yourself all the time and room you need to heal. I highly recommend a divorce group therapy type of thing, it helped me so much. I wish you a happy birthday and the peace that will surely come! Big Hugs!

  6. I can't even image what you are going through. Ugh. I'm sad for you. I love you! Did the dress come???

  7. What?! Ugh, I posted a comment and it's not showing up.

    ANyways, basically said that I wish we were closer so we could talk (face to face) and so I could give you a big hug.

    Happy (early) Birthday :)

  8. I'm so sorry cupcake. It will get better...keep believing that.
    Happy Birthday darlin'.

  9. Happy birthday sweetie! I know this must be such an emotional time - I wish I could give you another hug.
    Make sure that you get to the Dr. for an unfill if the tightness continues. I know it's not your top priority right now, but you need to make sure you stay healthy.XOXO!

  10. Oh my gosh! I have been MIA a bit so I missed your post.. I am so sad for you! You guys always looked so happy, it sucks that this has to brak you up, but I TOTALLY understand because I want kids badly also. If my hubby didn't want them, I would have to let him go as well.

    Well good luck girl, I am thinking about you and hoping everything goes ok. This is a tough time for you but I am glad you have so many people here who love and care about you and I know you will get through this!

  11. Hang in there, Nicole! Hugs from the South!!!

  12. My heart hurts for you Nicole but I know there are great things coming your way baby girl. You are starting the next decade of your life with a blank canvas and you have the chance to make it what YOU want. Life is too short to settle and you are not doing that!

    Happy Birthday!

  13. Happy Birthday sweetie. I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time right now but I know that you will come through this and find the happiness that you so deserve. Be nice to yourself tomorrow, have a spa day or whatever makes you happy. Hugs~

  14. Sorry things are so tough. I hate that for you. Sending hugs!

  15. Nicole...sending you good vibes and positive wishes!

  16. I just realized I am not a "follower" on your blog-- so I'm you're newest follower, most likely.
    Big hugs and kisses for your 30th birthday. I hope it was wonderful.
    If it is any consolation, my 30th was a complete shit show too- I was totally depressed, I'll tell ya about it some time.
    But things improved within a year-- and I even met the man of my dreams and was engaged just a year later.
    It is amazing what a little time can do.
    So HANG IN THERE if you're feeling terrible-- it's OK to cry it out. This too will pass and one day you'll see the sun shining brightly again and know it is shining for you.

  17. Hi there!! I hope you had an amazing b-day and that you are feeling much better! I know this is a rough time for you and am sending hugs and positive thoughts your way!! Happy 30th!! And, congrats on the white Trina Turk bikini -- sounds amazing!